Dang, there's a bomb in my ice-cream

In addition to the petting zoo in Woodville, Ala., and the Mule Day Parade in Columbia, Tenn., here is a partial list of where our heard-earned dollars are protecting us from Terra:

Kennel Club and Poker Room
Kangaroo Conservation Center
Bean Fest
Sweetwater Flea Market
High Stakes Bingo
Amish Country Popcorn
Bass Pro Shop
Ice Cream Parlor
Bakery & Cookie Shop
YMCA Center
Tackle Shop
Casket Company
Bass Pro Shop
Apple and Pork Festival


Cause we all know nothing beats a Terra plot like sticking dynomite up a goat's ass.